December 19, 1939 - January 10, 2011
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On behalf of my dad and the rest of the family, we sincerely appreciate that you all came today to honor our mom. We know that mom was an awesome person, and obviously you did too. She had a great impact on so many.
Some of you are aware that we’ve been working on a surprise memory book for mom and dad’s 50th anniversary that is coming up in a few weeks. Well, we decided to break it out early and we’ve been reading what family and friends have shared. We loved reading the kind words and great memories that you submitted, and they’ve been of great comfort and enjoyment to the family. We’ve also been joined this past week by family and friends who have continued to spark fond memories of mom. Your calls, visits and written messages are all very much appreciated. While these stories and memories may bring on bouts of sadness, we know that with time, all will be sources of joy and laughter.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Doug, and I am mom’s favorite. This fact is apparently disputed by Sharon, Steve and Linda who all also think that they are mom’s favorite child. This shows that mom accomplished her goal – to make sure her children were unconditionally loved, cared for and made to feel special. As a busy father of two, I often wonder how mom and dad were able to raise four kids – obviously through a lot of hard work, but always with love. Beyond the basic care and feeding of a family, we always had the coolest hand-crafted birthday cakes, creative, home-made Halloween costumes and interesting haircuts. Not just loving parents, mom and dad also role modeled what it means to be kind, thoughtful, respectful people. And we thank them both for this.
Mom was also a caring and giving person beyond her family. Whether she knew it or not, she was a second mom to many of our friends as her heart and our home were always open to them. And to dad’s friends too. In a memory book story, one of mom and dad’s friends said, “Gale, I hope someone gives you a medal for putting up with some of the friends that Gordon brought home to supper.” (and I’m happy to say that some of those friends are here with us today.) Mom continued her welcoming spirit when my parents hosted a German exchange student for a year during high school. Fran was instantly one of the family, and still is today. Apparently she liked our family too as she returned for college and other visits to her American mom and dad. Fran’s parents recently wrote that mom and dad were the best host parents of the world. The world is a pretty big place!
Mom was also a professional care-giver; a nurse for over 40 years. A former co-worker shared that mom was one of their finest nurses, of which I have no doubt. I can’t tell you much about her job other than it was a tough job that she loved - caring for newborns. I can also tell you that I find it simply amazing and inspiring that she could do so much, working odd shifts of sometimes joyful and sometimes emotionally crushing work, and keeping all of us pointed in the right direction too.
Mom was actively involved in many organizations over the years where she loved to spend time with friends and share her talents. The Navy Wives Club and the PTA are two where she contributed her hard work, organization and creativity. We kids remember many crafts that we were enlisted to help create after she came up with a new use for tin cans, Leggs eggs, or a mountain of furry fabric. A PTA friend wrote, “The fun we had doing all of the crazy installations that you would think of Gale. We never knew what you were going to come up with. The skits you planned and wrote were always so much fun to do.” A common theme for all of mom’s activities is that she accomplished what needed to be done, and did it while having fun and sharing her talents. Her friend shared that she felt that mom also inspired others to use their talents, whether they knew they had them or not.
Mom always had something going (or 2,3 or 4 things at once J). She loved to listen to all types of music and loved to sing, most recently with the church choir and Hayward Little Theater Chorus. She also painted and wrote poetry. And volunteered at church and in the community. And filled her home with an ever-changing expression of her joys. You heard that she had over 22000 photos on her computer – well, she has about that many family photos on the walls of her house too. And she loved to work in her garden. Her niece recently got a tour of the garden where mom described every plant, flower and wooden cow, and the stories behind each one.
Another joy of mom’s was traveling. Whether it was camping at a lake, RV’ing with dad and her brother Mike, driving cross country, day-trips to see her school friends, or seeing the world, she always enjoyed it the most when it was shared with family and friends. Their last trip together, mom and dad went on “the great American road trip” in October. They drove 4700 miles in 23 days. They had a wonderful time working together to overcome mom’s challenges, enjoying each other’s company, seeing old sights, and some new ones, and visiting family and friends, including her brother and sister-in-law Gary and Avis. We’re happy for those of you who were part of their trip.
We’d like to thank and honor our Dad, specifically for all of his loving support for our mom during these past several years. They worked together to understand and manage mom’s health, and dad was a super caretaker of mom; providing the love and support that you would expect from life-long best friends and an inspiration for `in sickness and in health'. Mom, her friends and our friends regularly praised dad on how wonderful he was with her during this difficult time, and always. Thank you dad.
Linda told me the other day about how every song on the radio made her think about mom. I’ve had the same experience. And this past week, family and friends have shared countless moments that have reminded them of mom. And you all have probably come across things that have reminded you of her recently. I think that this is a testament to how special she is to us, and how pervasive her spirit is with us. I expect that we’ll all find things that remind us of mom, and i plan to celebrate those moments, maybe with a tear, but eventually with a smile. We will all miss her, but she’ll always be with us. As a devoted wife, proud mom, doting grandma, loving sister, good friend – she’ll be impossible to forget.
During the past 2 months there were a few times when mom couldn’t verbally communicate with us, but did so with the squeeze of a hand or a squint, usually in response to an “I love you.” She knew we were there and we knew that she could understand us. Mom’s favorite sign to us the day before she passed was an animated “I heart you.” When you think about mom, feel free to give her an “I heart you.”
Mom would love it if you would squeeze the hand of a loved one right now, to let them know that you love them.